In my mind there are
moments when I peek
into the void, this
senseless, piteous void of
emptiness, despair,
unrealized hopes,
wasted dreams.
I look in there
and see all things
I hate, all the things
I really can’t stand
about myself.

Freed from this, in a
momentary triumph,
I touch the base
I know I once had.

Still, I remain haunted,
plagued by the things
I could have been,
should have done.

And through it all
there is me.
What a love-hate life
it has been.