I’m not sure if my best times are ahead
or behind me,
the anxiety of not knowing
has blinded me
to the possibilities of what could come to be;
possibilities that continue to elude me.

I don’t know how my worst times
have shaped me, or shaped my mind.
To that I’m inevitably blind.
And though I seek out happier thoughts,
they’re all just memories,
of a life […]

Life’s changes come
expected or not
Sometimes we’re prepared
Sometimes we’re in a state of blissful ignorance
Or wistfully ignoring
the inevitable path our actions have led us to.

I fear not the coming end.
The escape from complexity
to clarity
or nothingnesss

Either is the greener grass on the other side

There is this agony inside that uncontrols me,
usurps my will for rational,
usurps my temporal being.
It uncontrols me, without revealing itself
to that being uncontrolled;
it hides itself
from me

it is me

it’s obvious to those around me
but only the closest;
only the few who can be hurt