Why am I scared
to make amends?
To let go, move on,
stop holding on to this
in fear?
In the end, it matters little
what I held so dear.
When in death
it becomes
abundantly clear,
that the mental gymnastic escalations
of thoughts eternally bound
to internal consternation
that, in effect,
will reflect,
then reject
all modicums
of self-respect,
I’m not sure if my best times are ahead
or behind me,
the anxiety of not knowing
has blinded me
to the possibilities of what could come to be;
possibilities that continue to elude me.
I don’t know how my worst times
have shaped me, or shaped my mind.
To that I’m inevitably blind.
And though I seek out happier thoughts,
they’re all just memories,
of a life […]
A trailhead waits in the moonlight there
as I race down a highway to escape my despair.
I go onward and forward and faster towards
the mountains that will bring me unseen rewards.
The forest glows by the light of the moon,
And an eerie presence prevails as I arrive too soon.
for the journey is what this place is about
the journey to […]
No-one can leave
lonely and bleak
the outlook remains.
the only way to deal
with the isolation and pain),
though pained I am not
(there is no apparent pain).
I barely know of the affliction
though it troubles me still,
the hardships around me
they confine me and
they force me to face
a grim reality:
the reality of this illusion,
and oh god it’s […]
Pounding thing,
Artificial thump they call music
Is a beast and a noise
An aural irritant
Blithely it grates at my being
Some are inspired to move
None have their mind provoked
It isn’t art
It’s just a commercial
It pushes no boundaries
Supplanting the mediocrity
With the mediocre
It disgusts […]
posted in Personal, Poems |
Life’s changes come
expected or not
Sometimes we’re prepared
Sometimes we’re in a state of blissful ignorance
Or wistfully ignoring
the inevitable path our actions have led us to.
I fear not the coming end.
The escape from complexity
to clarity
or nothingnesss
Either is the greener grass on the other side
There is this agony inside that uncontrols me,
usurps my will for rational,
usurps my temporal being.
It uncontrols me, without revealing itself
to that being uncontrolled;
it hides itself
from me
it is me
it’s obvious to those around me
but only the closest;
only the few who can be hurt
Sometimes I wish that a moment
just wouldn’t end
It’s the moment when I look at you
and understand
without question you’re my friend
it’s when we laugh together
and challenge to do more
and better things than ever
we had done before
It’s in that moment that I know
you’ll always […]
Few things in life are worth
Living for.
Far more things in life
Are worth
Dying for.
I’m inspired by the impossible,
tempted by the improbable
prompted by the possible
the things that cannot be
I dream of
and take solace in the dreaming,
if not in the inactionable
things that cannot be
the things that may have a chance
should happenstance
have her way
tempt me
into continuing […]