Atom Lies

I thought quickly, but took so long
Never did pain, but never again,
I felt, but took so long
Quickly, but too long.
Nowhere to find –
I searched for atoms within the
Stars, but there can be no
Atoms for I cannot see them.

What is it I missed?
I thought, quickly now again,
Quickly, now.
Somewhere in this world an atom
lies waiting,
but lies have been told, and
atom lies.

I find lies in stars
and lies I’ve been given,
and lies that I’ve been,
No atoms here, no matter,
I never know.

On Your Feet Again

You’ll try to keep feet where they belong,
but still they end up taking you to
some other place you didn’t know you wanted to be.
Shake off the sleep-dust, wake up and wander
over here. I’ve seen another place you
didn’t know you wanted to be, but nor did I.
And here I am.

Some other moment took you away, and you landed
on your feet again, now. Here again, now–again.
There must be some other undemented face you
can put on to present yourself to it. Look out from behind your
mask, you masked avenger of all that once was
righteous. Land on your feet again, but don’t land
your feet where they shouldn’t be.

Land on your feet again,
as long as you’re landing them on the ground.

Autumn

The newness;
crisp, clear;
Freshness;
The first autumn rain
just fell.
The air has changed.
The season changed;
Life never changes,
but the living do.

There seems
Another solemn moment
suspended in clear
Autumn’s air,
In which I find myself
reflecting upon other
Autumn moments I
Had long since left behind.
In Autumn had long been
my favorite moments,
As is winter when
Winter’s here, and
Spring when winter’s over.

In my little favorite
moment, I still find
There’s some time left for
All the things I’d never
sought to remember.
But here in my autumn
moment, they all
jump into my memory;

Not the events of those
moments, but the feelings
I felt in them. Not the
Surroundings or the
circumstance, just the
feelings.

I long for those feelings
again, and in longing
for those feelings, they
do return; but when
feelings return I long
for the circumstances I
scarce remember, the
events i chose to forget.

I suppose I’m just waiting
for another summer’s close,
Another season’s passing.
I’m just waiting for an
empty, clear, crisp feeling
I had remembered once before.

I suppose I’m just waiting
for the circumstance to
Bring about the things
I’ve long longed for.

I suppose I’m just
waiting, sick of wanting,
But just waiting.

Autumn has arrived again,
But I’ll just wait for
Another Autumn.

Beyond the Evening

Somewhere,
Between here and somewhere else
Towards the evening,
An end awaits.

Why did it have to end this way?
(Today, I mean). I knew the sun would go
Down, but never why. Then when the day has
Ended, still I sit.
Somewhere,
Between here and somewhere else
Towards the evening,
Awaiting an end.

Between here and the evening,
Somewhere before night’s stark gray
Goes black,
There will be a segment of a life
That I must live.
I see that segment as just one of the
Many rapids along the river,
One of the many fast, swift currents
That slide by rocks in silent tumults.

That part of the river I shall reach all too soon.
I am there yet, but not yet.
I am there again, but not yet.
And yet beyond the evening
the dormant black does lie.
I shall reach it yet.

Catch Up

It seems I am inexplicably closer
To that which I am searching for,
And inextricably nearer to
knowing what that would be.
But as time marches on with the
Rambunctiousness of a little boy,
It stops not for me nor anyone
To let me catch up and take hold again.

Lies Ahead

I’d come this far too far,
Too far to turn back now
Far to far to turn my back upon
What’s left behind,
For in what’s left behind is all,
All of this
That lies ahead.

I’d come this far so far,
So far I’d only just now realized
The potential of the distance
I had come;
So far I never thought I’d see
An end to all of this,
That lies ahead.

I’d come this far again,
Again that I may realize
The potential of the person
That I am;
Again so I may see my thought,
As an end to all of this,
That lies ahead.

I’d come this far no more,
No more when I have realized
All the potential of time’s distance
I had run;
No more when I have been
To the end of all of this
That lies ahead.

Lifetimes

It seems I’ve summed up moments
and it’s taken lifetimes.
But the lifetimes themselves have
only taken moments.

Untitled – August 23rd, 1989

As tender sweet dew descends,
the night time scent of fresh pastures waft my way.
I am taken back to so many times
and places where the scents of
wide green pastures had filled my head before.

There was a time when those scents were taken for granted.
There was a time when they were not even known.
For too many people, the scent of the country is unknown.
That is a crime.
That is a crime.

All people should realize their roots as humans.
We should be humans, not consumers,
though the difference evades most.
We should be humans, aware of ourselves,
defining ourselves through our relation to the land.

But as consumers, we define ourselves by our possessions:

“I am the owner of a black truck.”

“I am the owner of that house.”

By our status:

“I am the manager, the father, the leader.”

By our greed,
Our need to consume:

“I am the customer, patron, patient.”
“How much is it?”

But not by who we are:

“I am a spirit, trapped and striving; I am me.”

Film (I)

Knowing not the life-film
Separating earth from heaven,
I see people plundering,
Destroying the film in the name of profit;
Destroying the film in the name of greed;
Destroying the film in the name of progress;
Destroying the film in no name at all.

Film

As a part of a thin film
separating
Earth from Heaven;
trapped between
Earth and Heaven,
I have known
the film,
The heaven,
The earth.

There are others in this membrane.
Others, who see only the film,
But not the heaven, or earth.

They know not the heaven, the earth.

They feel not the destruction of the film that
Destroys heaven and earth.

They know not the interplay between heaven and earth
that is this film called life.