Looking to be
in that barrier
beyond that barrier
burning brightly and obscuring all beyond
I should have lusted after freedom
and instead am shocked into
an ancient awareness;

a solemn retrospect of what had happened
had shaped,
had built the barrier
before which,
through which
lies that freedom after which I lust.

I cannot let you
know the pain,
the sense of stormyness ever looming,
ever taunting
the content out of me
I am on the pains of reminders
crying
Within the tears flow
as externally the muscles
fail to respond

Within, the tears flow
internalized
Is this the way I’d have them know me?
Trapped behind a barrier
of my history’s making?

I am just the salve to which the master
must attend,
monitor,
crush,
keep subservient
in the dull facade of thinking,
as master I am master
not realizing that the liberties the master takes away
are tenfold those that he would lose

This master is the slave to the whims of universe,
governments,
people who have no right
to bear witness
to truth.

All I want is freedom:
to work, live, die, conform.
I can’t even do that
whether willing or not
it is impossible.
I have never been able to do so.

Not to laws,
fashions,
trends,
not to the whims of marketers,
Not to anything but
the solemn mistake that this life became
from which I’ve learned,

barriers
are only barriers
the freedom is taken away in so many ways,
but in none so succingtly as
by the mind of the free.