I have lost the way
cannot find it today
there’s nothing you can say
to bring it back okay?
a dreamed of state of mind
in which i hope to find
the peace and the escape
from all that I abhor
to find what i adore
abhorence is it’s own state
i’m left to contemplate
the place of no escape
in this life unfulfilled
where i am found still
and the disgust that i feel
towards these things is real
i’ll need to make an escape
to the sheltered world of mine
to a dream-like state of mind
too much
fucked up
never know
never care
too much
never enough
too fucked up
to ever care
you’re
too much
no satiation
but who am i
to really care
so much
and i’ll get
fucked up
coz why should i
want to care
i’ve done a lot of living since i was dying
there was never any turning back
no way back no way out
all there is to do is keep on living
keep on making a difference in my own world
there are no regrets since i was dying
never was there a doubt or chance
that this is where it would go
and here we are keeping on living
keeping on making a difference in this world
I cannot contemplate anything without the freedom
freedom from certainties and surprises
i will go on certain of only one thing
the need to keep on living, giving
keep on making a difference in our world
so i think that since i was dying
i was happy with all the living,
happier with all the giving
yet frustrations have their way of giving way
to the pain of all this dying
so to make a difference since i was dying
it hasn’t happened yet or perhaps
perhaps it has
and here you are keeping on living
keeping on making a difference in this world.
i don’t know why it was special…
fiery objects in the sky
whales spouting
seals pouting
snaking the best wave of the day!
(and making the world go away)
i don’t know why it was special…
a disappearing moon
smiles and laughs
the homemade draft
having the waves to ourselves!
(and keeping the world at bay)
not sure of why it was special…
fires warming our bones
music we made
the plans we laid out
the picks, lighters, and broken strings
(and remembering everything)
yes it was special:
it was the time i shared
with my friends
three ford rendezvous:
neck rashes numb feet
allergies couldn’t compete
it was special:
it was the time i shared
with my friends
For just one moment the thought was there
I’d figured out the reasons that I’d lost the need to care
Nobody’s looking out for me, can’t take the blame alone
What goes and comes around; too little to really know
So the reasons are simple, reasons so are few
Don’t give a shit about me or the things that I do
Don’t look out for me, About me you shouldn’t care
Gone the way of a society that doesn’t know I’m there.
Ignore my petty existence till something is wrong
Then and only then do I feel like I belong
All this junk, too, aimed to make a buck off me
But ignore a bill, break a law, then you’ll notice me.
The care just isn’t there; society and me
How could I give a shit, it goes mutually.
There’s a light, a flash, a shout at me.
Don’t know the words, but the meaning is clear.
Thrown to the ground, face in the sand–
The gun’s pointing right at me.
Metal to the head, as I dare not move,
Cleaned out, nothing left at all,
but that which has real meaning:
a friend, a life to live,
a journey to make.
(Though not the one planned.)
If the feeling is fear, the feeling is strong,
empowered, the strength drives me on.
With a friend, a life to live,
a journey to make,
(though a different one now).
And the journey goes on,
cleaned out, nothing left at all
but the important things:
the journey that brought me here,
a friend,
a life lived,
now part of who I am.
There is no grief among the lost
The greed is life at any cost
How can it be this way?
How can they be that way?
Ignorance, Bliss?
Or just an excuse
Hate me hate me I know you do
I can’t conform to your petty ways
double standards, fucked up laws
I can’t conform to the image of me
you see without knowing me.
There isn’t a reason that I should give in to all your
pressures of social necessity, social conform,
and disorder, your social norm.
The standards you keep and share I deplore
There is no reason, no more.
I cannot live up to such a fucked up way
You can be there, I can too, so what the fuck
are you trying to do to me?
No difference between us?
Can’t you see?
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