This is not clear
befuddlement drapes across the face
expressing the indignant

confusion
that this technology incites.

We move forward in a world
unclear
of where we will be taken
where we are headed
or how fast we accelerate towards

a forward-thinking
forward-leaning
world

We’ve lost track
of the acceleration of change

lost track
of what we’ve lost track of

the change too fast
too great
too much

confusion
in trying to keep up
catch up
stay up
with the news
the information flow
the technology

life

I walk away from parties
and celebrate alone
life’s travesties indistinguishable
from the pleasures I have known

I’m fraught with understanding
the virtues of this place
but have yet to find a way
to thrive and to save face

but what takes me there I wonder
as I celebrate alone
To where I would encounter
possibilities as yet unknown

I move onward with distinction
unhampered by company
alone to celebrate myself
and the fact that I am free

to keep seeking possibilities
to keep chasing some ideals
that draw me forward, lead me on
in celebration of what i’ll be

Do I mourn the loss of who I am
or embrace the arrival of who I’ll be
Do I let what’s done trouble me,
or be my guide into eternity

Do I shun the things I should have done
or go back to where I had once begun
Do I get beyond this realm of circumstance
to find myself a better place.

Do I continue unsustainable actions
or join more deliberative factions
Do I blame the world for everything
Or take responsibility in this

Looking to be
in that barrier
beyond that barrier
burning brightly and obscuring all beyond
I should have lusted after freedom
and instead am shocked into
an ancient awareness;

a solemn retrospect of what had happened
had shaped,
had built the barrier
before which,
through which
lies that freedom after which I lust.

I cannot let you
know the pain,
the sense of stormyness ever looming,
ever taunting
the content out of me
I am on the pains of reminders
crying
Within the tears flow
as externally the muscles
fail to respond

Within, the tears flow
internalized
Is this the way I’d have them know me?
Trapped behind a barrier
of my history’s making?

I am just the salve to which the master
must attend,
monitor,
crush,
keep subservient
in the dull facade of thinking,
as master I am master
not realizing that the liberties the master takes away
are tenfold those that he would lose

This master is the slave to the whims of universe,
governments,
people who have no right
to bear witness
to truth.

All I want is freedom:
to work, live, die, conform.
I can’t even do that
whether willing or not
it is impossible.
I have never been able to do so.

Not to laws,
fashions,
trends,
not to the whims of marketers,
Not to anything but
the solemn mistake that this life became
from which I’ve learned,

barriers
are only barriers
the freedom is taken away in so many ways,
but in none so succingtly as
by the mind of the free.