I fear the reality
of the decisions I must make;
I fear the feeling of aloneness
in those decisions;
I fear the decisions;
I fear myself.

Is there a confidence not there,
is there a force still lacking?
I know I can help,
but don’t know
if the help is needed.

Have I helped enough already?
Or have I just begun?

I ask myself,
I ask myself.

I ask the world to answer me.
I fear the

silence that
ensues.

No answer comes out to enrapture me.
No answer, no direction,
no guidance.

I have lost the faith
and the trust in myself.
I have asked the universe,

but not myself.

I have forgotten that the universe

is the self.

The self is the universe,
and I must face myself.
I must ask myself these things.

The answer will then be clear.
I will know the universe is
on my side.

As long as I go with it.

It’s funny how years just
meld into an eternal circumstance of

mind;

I thought I left behind
the circumstance of my youth,
yet the memory haunts me.

Taunts me,

No! and now only the memory
I find can comfort me.
The memories I find define this
eternal circumstance of mind, and

Comfort me.

This eternal circumstance is all I have.
The years it represents,

defines

me. I am my own eternal circumstance;
I should be comfortable in that definition.
I never knew the present definition until it was

past.

I cannot know this present definition: I create
and define myself in the present.

I cannot know myself in this present;
cannot know this mind.
And all the while all the years go on melding,
melding on into the memories of this

mind.

So compelled I am to find, I have to know
this present state of mind, this
eternal circumstance, I have to find,
define, this eternal circumstance.

I have to understand

This prison of a mind.

There can be no other way
Though we’ve come this far,
Too far,
We can go no other way
But the path we’ve paved
By our past actions.

The path we have paved
with our petty greeds,
desires, and false needs;
the path we paved in ignorance,
wantonness, and ill-concern.

So this way we go onward toward
an inevitable outcome from
an incontravertable past.
This is the way we go.
This is the way to go,
and go we must.

We know the way, yet
don’t know what to expect along the way.
We know the destination,
yet don’t know how far it is,
or how close.

But this is the way to go,
and go we must.

Some deathly silence
pervades this barren scene full of life,
that all may see there is a feeling here,

I know this feeling;
have felt it before,
And yet there is something else here,
a living silence that comes from
the heart,
the silence of the soul in which I turn
and find the dead end streets of
every pervasive perverted thought
I ever had.

And so this feeling pervades and perplexes
when in deathly silence I find
a closer resemblance to the life
that would lead me away from those
dead end streets.

So I turn away from dead ends
and take that deathly silence with me,
only to find the living silence harder to find,
to find the dead end streets still there.

It seems I am in an intersection
of dead end streets.

The only way out is within.