Primitive

Religion is primitive:
the unsophisticated pouring
of one’s total ambition into a
belief system imposed upon themselves by others.

Of course it is natural to wonder about
meanings,
purposes,
greater pictures than the visible.

But to supplant that wonder
with blind unabashed faith
in that which has been
purported,
reported,
recorded,
distorted
by man:

a book.

I cannot partake.
I cannot relate.
I cannot take it.
I cannot condone it.

Though the principles may be sound
and just
and civilized,
the methods are to be abhorred.

The imposition of one’s will
one’s narcissistic belief
that there is no other way
than their own
to achieve that which
attempts to answer those
preponderant questions
of wonder,
of what is beyond
the greater picture
of what is visible.

But, to supplant that
and impose that;
there can be no right or wrong.
Belief is belief,
but the imposition of belief
upon others?
The evangelical establishment:
a cause of more
and bloodier wars
than any misunderstanding,
than I can explain.

I’ll take that ugly forced religion,
that primitive basal
and hedonistic belief
that paradise and immortality
can be found
through a book

to be inspired or in awe of
some great and noble man,
is one thing.

To have blind faith that that
great and noble man
can take and turn
and change a world
is a false belief that
he is the only
conduit of that change.

The faithful,
the evangelical:

closed minds;
primitive faith.

The faithful,
the evangelical:

wrong.

Choices

My won mortality
slaps the face of time;
I’m left here
looking at this face of mine–

Reflecting upon the things I should be doing.
Unencumbered by
those things yet
unproven.

And I’ll face tomorrow with
an unrestrained hope,

taking no offence
at this last
loss
of control.

For when mortality
faces me,
I’m lost within
whatever dreams I’ve had–
there is no point
or purpose
in getting mad.

So towards
another sunset
the day will take me…

Another chance to right
the things that, mistakenly,
I had once thought and believed
were the only true path for me.
But now I realize
that all such paths are open
to the free.

When a crescent moon
illumninates the mountain tops
and I am faced with choices
which have been dropped
upon the lap of mine,

to be regarded in their time,

things that shall route me
through the future,

and create my history.

So there is no reason
nor point
to take offense at this.
I don’t have the option
or the chance
to rectify all that’s amiss.

But the chance I do have
is to make the day my own.

The choice I’ll make
Is to take
this history
back home.

The Same Stars

The crescent moon
a sliver
in a clear black night

I look up at it and wonder

Is it within your sight?

Though the miles separate us now…
we’re both under the same stars.

And I look forward to when we can
be under these stars together.

The Haughty Solitude

Gouge the eyes
with visions
I have loved,
and the burning despair
that perchance
I would have anticipated,
had the future’s
narrow path not been
so destructive.

It replaces what I said,
a triumphant fantasy,
a knave to the great
drifting ego
that distresses me

I cannot understand
the dirty smoke,
the illusion,
the labouring state
of those flames;

the entrancing lovers
who would
take these empty eyeballs
and gouge those visions
into them;
a burden not shared
by senses
but imposed
by humanity’s
wretched
plague.

It is the past
wherein sadness
and ease comforted
the very passions
we cast upon those
around us;

we know not the dim
grey places,
the recesses,
the tombs
wherein we shall
decompose.

I speak an unearthly abstraction;
thinking,
believing,
hoping the abstraction’s
not premeniscent of what
is to come.

I travel far away
from where the threats of
such dreams belay;
far,
far,
clamoring for a precipice

from which to jump

and end
the haughty solitude of
a spirit trapped
within a life I never
wanted.

Thoughts

Burdened with the giver of this silence,
i seek the repose that such haunting moments promise.
When as foretold, an awaited day arrives,
I shall be bold, I shall not go to hide
from what must be inevitable,
what must be realized as just another step along this way.

But the silence deafens;
alone I listen to the roar from within, a thousand thoughts
come into focus then go out again.
Some are of the past, and a longing for what was;
Some are of tomorrow, and wondering how it will be;
And some are of the present,
and how it relates to being me.

Some are of the helplessness that I’m destined
to endure;
Some are of the control I’ve not known over
the powers that corrupt,
that place me in predicaments I’m too stubborn to give up.

And some are of the earth, and where we’ve all gone wrong,
And some are of the lyrics to an emotionally charged song;
Some are of who I am, and who I might have been;
Some are of the freedom that I forever seem to need;

And while some are inspired by those I love
and some are inspired by things I fear;
some are hapless, some are forced;
some fallacious, and others here

But all are of the one thing,
and that is who I am;
all are thoughts of everything
that makes me who I am.

Still

I am still
without movement
still
without pain
still
without a thought of why I am
still
without the clarity to cloud my being
still
without what I need to be me

I am still
without action
still
without reaction
still
without the patience to really know
still
without the vision to answer my calls
still
without what I think really is me

I am still
without desire
still
without question
still
without the answers I’d like to know
still
without the questions I’d wish I’d asked
still
without what I believe should have been me

I am still
without fear
still
without malice
still
without the feelings to confirm my being
still
without the numbness to confirm my departure
still
without what I know really isn’t me

I am still
without

I am still

I am

Still

We may share

and the moonlight over us
shines
as we take apart
each other’s minds in our own
and analyze the depths of who we’re with

I’ve looked at you
and it was obvious
that a special person
is there within
a spirit of friendliness
a product of who you are

and I taste the earth and look again
I breathe the air and touch your skin
I feel connected
I feel dejected
that that connection is not both ways

But I’ll toil on
for friendship’s sake
All I want for you
is the best you can take
from life
from experience
from what you know

all I want for you
is for you to go
through life
knowing you’ve a friend in me

a friend who had to set you free
and should you return,
come back to me,
that friendship I’ll ne’er forget
nor let go again.

but I thank you
for being
who you are
for allowing me
to be connected thus, to you
though the connection
is not both ways
I hope
that one day
some connection
will find it’s way
between us
that
we may share
a little of life’s surprises
for whatever we dare.

Tonight

Tonight
I think I’ve lost you
Coz’ you haven’t said anything to me
Tonight
I when I bared my soul to you
so who I am you could see
Tonight
Things have changed
between us I know
But I haven’t changed at all
But I can’t go on with this show

Coz you know who I am now
But only the surface
has been scratched thus far
because this soul runs deep my friend
this spirit is afar

and I know one day you’ll remember me
and appreciate what I’ve said
for it was far better for you to know me
than to carry on until dead

But tonight I’m stripped down
my soul is bared to you
and tonight
I risked it all now
so you could see what’s really true

And tomorrow
If you talk to me
I’ll remember how things were
and if tomorrow you come back to me
I’ll rejoice forever more

Future Denied

Among the wise I was young;
among the wisdom of sages speaking
their defeated dreams, standing to ruin
the day and the purpose of this stealth.

Wind never said what politics could have moaned;
embraced within a song, this craft of men
whose knowledge of time was impatient,
succumbing to the time thus known.

Leaves fell, and looking where we trod
only the mush of the mud could say
where feet had taken us.
We are drawn here to where there is belief.

I believe I cried.

A moment dropped the seed
from which has grown this future,
at the behest of which
my youth has passed,
and with it, wisdom come.

Now can I be mad,
and moan what politicking has ruined?
An ebb and tide of life and youth
and sustainability of an age?

Ha! I bask in rage

A worse evil than all known, this politicking I bemoan
for it is the unbegotten promise to fulfill
every man’s lust when it is each who must
sing their own praise,
and walk the mud that leads to the wise,
and frees one from disbelief.

I believe it now.
Faith in others to control my future;
others:
not the wise,
but the greedy;
not the unsung,
but the well paid.

Thus has
future been denied.

I take a Winding Road

I take a winding road,
that leads me away from here
and it follows along the banks
of a lake so crystal clear.

And the last quarter of a moon
cycles overhead.
and I wonder what will be
coming out in the end.

I’ve taken further away
A star-racked purpose
turns out the stripes I see
Follow them relentlessly
into this moment’s eternity

And I witness the elation
and I’ll bring it to the cause
I’m done with them for right now
I have no more.

And I am growing weary
But stronger yet it seems
and then drugged with life’s emotions
that are dragging down on me

And I’ll take it to another place
having left what I thought behind
And it is the end I know
and it’s here I’ll draw the blind

The heights I’ve seen
and those yet unconquered
they lure me to do more;
and in a downtrodden pathway
I keep coming back for more

And here I am once again,
on the banks of this river
ready to run,
ready to sweep,
ready to share what I’ve been given.