Poesy

Oh Poesy, dear Poesy,
Sometimes, you are my only escape from myself
And other times, my only vestige of myself.

You are my only treasure sometimes.
And yet, my Poesy, my dear, dear Poesy,
Oft times I resent your vassalage,
Holding me, but guiding me,
Supporting me, but enslaving me.

You haunt me with things I had forgotten,
You remind me of some things better lost,
But best said.

You hide my fear with my courage,
Showing the world both, and neither.
But you fail to hide my fear from me.
You teach me fear with fear,
Courage with courage.

You teach me where this mind has been,
And take me where this mind is going.
You have taken me there, but swiftly I did
Return, the glimpse was but enough.

Dear Poesy, I find in you my treasures,
But dare I trust you with them?
Would you, my Poesy, my dear, dear Poesy,
Share my treasures with another?

Those with whom you share yourself,
Dear Poesy, you share me also.
Share my treasures wisely, Dear Poesy,
Share my hopes and fears and lessons,
My treasures, share them wisely.

Poesy, You are my treasures,
You are my fears and hopes and feelings.
You laid down my lessons long ago,
Though not ’till now do I find these Lessons’ meaning.

Perhaps I’d known those lessons,
Though now knowing more,
I find these lessons are laid down for me to follow.
Others may, but they are mine.
These lessons are the lessons of a past to
Haunt a future, to guide a future,
To find a future in some lost past.

Dear Poesy, you are my glimpse into that lost past,
My window into that future;
You are all my present can be.

Poesy, I fear you, I cherish you.
I create you line by line.

. . . No, I know:

You create me as you go.

The Way

For some time I thought there was life beyond the way,
That the way lead to the life that lay beyond.

Then one day I found the Way,
Found that I was on the way,
But was at the end of the way.

I did not find the way until I had completed the way,
But there was no life beyond where I stood.

All that lay before me was the way,
Then, I knew, the way is the life that lay beyond.

The end of the way is the beginning of the way.

So off I trod along the way.

There was no where else to go.

No More

No more can we say this life is good,
For this life has become just another facet
Of Existence.
Existentialist views predominate
This enchanted forest,
Where money grows on trees,
But the trees are not beautiful,
Only the money that comes from them.

Then in this concrete haven we not may say
That life is sweet.
Life has become just another facet of
Our self indulgence.
Self-indulgent views predominate
This house of mirrors,
Where reflected in every direction
Are the faces that we would project,
Faces that show not their beauty,
But only their superiority.

In this acid den we cannot say that life
Has what life is.
Life is just another facet of an illusion
Induced by chemicals and moments within
A mind that deludes itself with its own
Life illusion, life delusion.
Illusions set apart from the illusion of
Deaths, by the concrete and the money,
For within other illusions no concrete or
Money trees are known to be there.
In this illusion of the beauty there
Are no real faces, no real beauty.

From our prison cell of bone we may look out
To see only what life sees, to give only what
Life receives, to spend only on the superiority
Of faces, but not on the beauty. In this skull cell
Prison wherein we lie, all illusion, all money,
All superiority, and all concrete exist for
No other purpose but to hide the beauty,
And entomb the self. No, no longer can we say
This life is good.

Parts of Nature

Towards existence bewildered
By a nature that has no feeling for any
One of its parts,
(though I am a part)
Yet is the feeling of all its parts;
That is where blind abrogation of nature leads us
By the hand.

The denunciation of being part of
Nature, of being separate and
Distinct from ourselves.

Our selves remain
Hidden by us all.
Hidden where there is ratification of
The feeling of the parts
(I am still a part)
Through familiar emotions downplayed,
Downturned, downtrodden.

Nature’s feeling is the feeling
Of its parts.
(We are all parts)
To remove the self from the nature,
Shrinks the truth and inflates the ego.
Shrinks and inflates
To where we are bewildered by the truth of nature
In our own petty egotistic destruction.

I Have Not Been Weaned

I no longer contact this mother earth,
But I have not been weaned.
I walk on carpets, concretes, ashphalts;
I perfidiously step on rubber soles,
And nylon socks.
I ride on rubber tires, fly on air.
I ride vertically in boxes in buildings,
Way above the earth.
I sometimes go below the earth,
But I no longer contact this mother earth,
Yet, I have not been weaned.

Instead I lose my mother’s milk,
I lose my earth mother’s wisdom.
I lose touch with the reality of life,
I lose touch with my Self.

Running

I had run this far,
Had panted and puffed.
I had breathed heavily,
But hasten the breath further.
The legs move on, the arms swing and swing.
I had run this far, further now.
Still running, running forward
Through time.
Occasionally glancing back down the road,
Never looking far enough back to see
Where I’ve been,
And rarely seeing the meaning of where I’ve been.
Still running, running forward,
But looking down.
Always almost exhausted, always running,
Even when resting, the feet still run.
The head too tired
To look up ahead, to tired to lift
And plan for that fork ahead.
The head held listlessly downward,
Looking at the next step, and the next step,
But never the next mile.
I run, and run and run,
But am not sure how far I’ve come.
Not sure of how far I’ll go.

I’m never sure my next step will hit the ground,
But still I run on and continue along
The miles of this life.

Setting Suns

Oh how a setting sun departs an unobstructed sky:
So firmly, without repose,
Steadily, enduring.

Without contradiction, the sun
Does sink, slowly, steadily.

Downward flits that bright yellow disk,
Towards an edge where an abrupt world meets
And casually greets
An ardent sky.

The disk slides by.

Silently,
This disk sinks,

The sky runs away,
Exposing the earth to the stars.

The sky went chasing the sun,
Perhaps thinking it was the last one.

The last sinking sun I’ll see –
I’ll run and chase that sun that
Last time too.

I’ll chase the sun then too.

But how will I ever know
Which is my last setting sun?

The sky chases out every setting sun.
Should I?

Satisfaction

I would leave right now, but,
For the pain of satisfaction,
Am compelled in this forgotten woe
To go on.

I have seen this satisfaction’s pain,
Have seen this putrefaction’s gain,
Wherein lost hopes and wanton ways
Are paved and plastered to the
Walls of a hall of sorrow –
A hall of fame.

A famous hall with plastered walls,
Which bear the names of you and I –
The satisfied – in pain.

And satisfaction’s predilection
Takes its toll on those who know
And those whose knowledge is ignored
And those whose knowledge does implore
Them not to satiate all desires of this world.

I would leave right now, but
False satisfaction’s gains, less elusive
Than the pain,
Entrance me in this dance of fame.
The fame does push me on,
Until when famous I have gone,
And gone on and on and on in God-sent pain.

There would be no time to tell
Through the pain of God-sent hell
What a satisfied desire should be like.
For desire’s satisfaction is the
Spirit’s putrefaction:
Only desires non-existent are satisfied.

Grip the Moment

If, when down some lonely street
You sit alone pondering and
Thinking of a world newly born
Of the despair of nations that had been
In conflict, you are startled
By a rising sun,

Grip the moment and hold and remember
The moment. But do more . . .

Understand the moment.

Otherwise that moment may be all you have
That moment.

Catacombs

Fading to an underscored reality,
Unfeeling of a bewildering history,
I Sink into the echoing

Shhhhhh!

murmers of stone walls,
Hewn of stone with the sweat and the flesh of history.

There would seem to be a presence of an unseen nature,
Almost dream like. Perchance I should fall
And smash my elbow on the walls,
My blood shall mingle with the sweat and flesh and stone
That joins centuries past and present.
The dream like qualities fade
And domineer. I fall.

I would leave my blood as a solemn but sure connection
To a future I dare not hide, but dare even less to show.
That sweat and pain and toil had been left for me, in
Some other past,
Where nothing was not the same, but for the
Addition of the sweat,
The flesh and the stone.

The time remained the same.
The existence never changed.

Only my blood changed, from being in the body to being
On the wall.
Mingling with the history that makes this present
Some other future,
And this future, just another past,
I stepped down.

Descending the carved stairs, dry blood caked onto the elbow
And the wall that rended the skin,
Historic echoes perceived, closing in,
Descending upon me as I descend the stairs of these catacombs.

Whose hands toiled and sweated to make these walls and why?
Surely not for I, that I may venture here and
Leave my own bloody streaks upon arms and walls.
Surely not for those who would come after me.
Perhaps for those who went before,
Perhaps for themselves.

Some legacy sent these people underground –
Yet I question my own assumptions.
Some aspirations of security,
Some driving fear – but fear not now,
The warrants of those fears are long gone,
Deep within the walls,
Deep down these stairs.

I stumble upon the bones of others who had gone before.
These bones, were they walking up or down these stairs?
Were they leaving, afraid of what they’d found?
Or were they entering, knowing not what they’d find?
They never made it, either way.

The grim terror grips, wrenches my soul
As with one almighty gasp I am lost in darkness.
Am I ascending, or descending these stairs?
Stricken thus, now I’ll wait until

SHHHHH!

murmers of another time
Tell me where I am going, and of what went on.
I shall bear witness to what went on,
For I am responsible.

Now I am drawn here,
Now I am trapped here.
Future and past mingle into one overwhelming present,
Streaming blood and sweat and stone through time.

Justice will be served.

I have been sentenced.
My blood through time.

I wait.